Separation Anxiety:
Are You Anxious About Being Separated?

Everyone experiences anxiety. Even babies. Anxiety in babies, in fact, is a predictable sign of normal development. Why is that?

Babies lack what psychologists call a “sense of object permanence”, meaning that if something or someone isn’t right there in front of them, they forget that thing or person exists.

But by the time a normally-developing baby is seven or eight months old it can begin to appreciate the game of “Peek-a-Boo”. At this age, a baby will know that when Mom hides her face, her face still exists somewhere, and be delighted when it reappears from behind her hands.

But as soon as Mom is really out of sight, even if she’s just in the next room, panic can set in. Because the baby has associated security with Mom, Mom takes security along when she disappears from view. That panic is what we define as separation anxiety.

Separation anxiety of this sort is an unavoidable part of infancy. And it can last into a child’s preschool years without being a cause for concern. But when separation anxiety continues later into childhood, it can disrupt both the child’s, and its entire family’s, lives.

Separation anxiety can surface in a number of ways. Children suffering from separation anxiety disorder may fall apart, not only when they have to be way from home and family, but also when they simply think they may have to be.

Or they may be obsessed with the idea that some harm will befall their parents, or that they themselves will be kidnapped or get lost or abandoned.

Separation anxiety will leave children terrified at the thought of going to school or anywhere else without their parents, and afraid to stay home alone.

Children with separation anxiety will often want a parent with them when they fall asleep, and have nightmares about separation. And they will dread any occasions which require them to sleep away from home.

And separation anxiety is rarely without physical symptoms, including stomach pains and nausea or headaches. Children who have such physical complaints are not “faking”; stress is entirely capable of producing these symptoms even in adults.

If you have, or know of, a child who has been exhibiting at least three of the above behaviors for more than a month, there is a good chance that child is suffering from separation anxiety. If so, and you are in a position to direct the child to a medical professional, you will be doing both the child and his or her family a tremendous service!

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